We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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