I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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