Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
