Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
