Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I need to stop coming to work sober
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
