Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
