Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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