Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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