1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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