Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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