Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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