Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
