Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize