some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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