She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I want to fling myself into the sun
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
