At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
