I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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