Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
