you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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