And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
