why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
