Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
