Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
