I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
