I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
