i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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