You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i think my tv is drunk
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
