garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Your cock deserves a montage
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
