Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
