The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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