bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Rumble strips road head = magical
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
