Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
