and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
