You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
