I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
