i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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