Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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