worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
