Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
