i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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