Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
