Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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