Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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