yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
