now i know why i became what i already was.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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