Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
