No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize