i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
