So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
well you can't waste a boner
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
