i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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