he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Randomize
