I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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