Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
