Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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