i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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