I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have fence marks all over my body
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
