dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
