There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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