dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
