We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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