If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
