if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
