can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
