No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
