If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
